What is it that makes the human–horse relationship feel so profound?
Why we miss our horses and why do we carry the presence of our horses in our bodies, long after they're no longer with us?
When my beloved heart horse passed, I found myself unraveling this question not just through grief—but through the slow unfolding of insight.
To meet this understanding, I began to see our relationship not as a singular bond, but as a constellation of contributions and resonances. Clarity, in times of loss or uncertainty, brings orientation. And from orientation, healing can begin.
These are the five elements that helped me name what I was holding—and what I continue to hold—through love, partnership, and presence.
#1. The Care of a Child
The way we care for our horses is total. It is not unlike tending a five-year-old child. We tend to feed, hooves, teeth, tack, training—and the invisible layers, too: the emotional tone, the nuance of every encounter.
They have a tender heart and they have a delicate mind, like a child does.
And that's the way I've always viewed my relationship with my horses.
Losing my gelding after 23 years was like letting go of a child who had grown alongside me. He had a tender mind, a bright heart, and the kind of presence that asked me to rise—not through authority, but devotion.
And with devotion comes the ache of absence.
#2. The Devotion of a Partner
There is a sacred intimacy between horse and human that echoes the kind of love we might associate with a life partner.
Not because it mirrors romance, but because of the depth of knowing. You feel each other’s thoughts before they surface. You share silences, intentions, even breath.
This bond becomes rhythm. It becomes Hum.
And when it’s gone, the silence is not empty—it is full of everything that was known, and felt, and never needed to be said.
#3. The Constancy of a Friend
Some days, when the world is heavy or brittle, we go to our horse not to train, but simply to be. These are the days we lean on our horses as our truest companions, not expecting anything.
My horse was that for me. A confidant. A comfort. A steady listener to things I couldn’t name.
In his presence, words dissolved. And in their place, connection stood—quiet, mutual, and grounding.
When a friend like this leaves, it feels like a door quietly closing behind you. You’re still in the same room, but the air has changed.
#4. The Recognition of a Soulmate
It took me time to name what I had always felt: that he was my heart horse. My soulmate.
Not in a poetic sense, but in a very real, embodied knowing. He saw me. He read what made me light up and offered more of it—his piaffe, his passage—because he loved how I felt when we danced together.
That is the essence of a heart horse: a being who recognizes your joy and chooses to reflect it back to you. This is rare. And when it’s gone, you don’t just miss the horse—you miss a part of yourself that only they could bring forward.
#5. The Trust of a Business Partner
There’s also the piece we don’t often speak about: horses as partners in purpose.
Whether you ride professionally or simply engage with your horse in daily care and presence, there is a job to do together. It’s not about profit, but shared responsibility.
Your horse becomes someone you meet in commitment—task, focus, routine, rhythm. The unspoken contract of mutual reliability.
This role, too, leaves an imprint. When a business partner is gone, you feel the gap in your structure. The system you once moved through together suddenly has missing steps.
Finding Clarity Through Loss
I didn’t realize I needed to name these layers until I lost them. And yet, in naming them, something softened. Something clarified.
It’s often in the absence of connection that we begin to understand the depth of what was present.
In a time where uncertainty touches everything—where the world itself feels reshaped—may we take a moment to reflect not only on what we’ve lost, but on what it meant to us.
Because understanding brings clarity.And clarity makes space for something new to emerge.
I'd love to hear from you:
What contributions do your horses give you in your life?What have you learned through loss, through love, through presence?
Leave a comment and share your reflections below.
Ready to deepen your understanding and connection?
Discover more insights, stories, and embodied practices in my book: “Going Beyond: Mastering Unspoken Connections.”
This isn’t just a book—it’s a companion for your journey into presence, reciprocity, and the quiet intelligence shared between beings.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES TO HELP YOU DEVELOP YOUR DREAM HORSE