Why we miss our horses - ForTheHorse

Why we miss our horses

What is so special about the relationship with the horse?

I've broken it down into four components. The more we have clarity in times of uncertainty, the better it will be.

It brought me clarity to define these aspects of the relationship that we have with our horses. So I hope it brings clarity to you as well.

#1.  Our horses are like our children.

For me, that horse who just recently passed away, he was like my five year old child that I've had around me for 23 years.

The amount of care that we put into our horses, every single detail... the saddle fit, the feed, the feet, the teeth, the wellbeing, the training. There's so much that we put into our horses.

It's like taking care of a five year old child.

Also the mental capabilities, although they are very capable and very intelligent, but when we deal with them, it's like dealing with the child.

They have a tender heart and they have a delicate mind, like a child does.

And that's the way I've always viewed my relationship with my horses.

So when you have a five year old child with you for 23 years and then it's all of a sudden gone, you realize what that relationship meant to you. The caregiving behind it, the attendance to every need.

#2.  A partner.

The next component I've identified is that they are a partner.

They could be likened to a partner, like a spouse. And in that, I mean the love that you dedicate to your horse and the love that you get back from the horse reciprocated. It gets to be so deep...

Can you relate to the love that is between you and your horse? Similar to that of a spouse... I mean it's different because of the different species... But the depth of the relationship is what I'm talking about.

You get to know each other so well and the horse gets to know you so well. You know each other's next step, each other's next thought...you just know each other inside out.

And that's why I say it's like your life partner. If that resonates with you, put a note for me below in the comments.

#3.  A friend.

I know of many days that I would be upset and my kids or my husband would say to me, just go and be with your horse, and send me out of the house.

Have you ever had that happen? Where your horse is just your friend, someone you can go out there and groom, you can talk to them. They're always there. They listen.

So when my best friend passed away, I realized how much I really did talk to him. And I don't mean with my words, (I did talk to him with my words too and he knew exactly what I meant).

You just go out there and you be with your horse and you have that still time... you just are there... It's like being with a good friend, you don't need to say anything. They're just there for you and you just get comfort in each other.

#4. A soulmate.

It took me a while to figure this one out because I always knew that Merlin was my soulmate, 

and I knew of the term a "heart horse," but I didn't really understand completely what a "heart horse" was...

until it came to me that a "heart horse" is a horse who knows you inside out...he or she knows what makes you happy and does more of that.

Merlin just absolutely knew that I loved his passage or his piaffe. He knew it made me happy so he would do more of it.

That is my definition of the "heart horse."  Let me know what your thoughts are...

#5.  A business partner

And the last one that I want to talk about is really interesting because as I've been evaluating this position and where I'm at... it didn't come to me, in fact, until a few days ago when I got clarity around this.

The last component of a relationship with a horse is a business partner.

I see that as the business partner is you've got a job to do... you have a job to do with that horse and it's important. Your job can sometimes be "life" or "life or death" situation.

Even if the job is just going for a trail ride or just going out and lunging your horse, you have a job to do, your horse has a job to do with you. So you are in essence business partners.

Each of you has to tow the line. You have a goal to meet, you have deadlines, you have tasks that you have to do. You have a very serious business partner where you rely on each other to get results.

When I got clarity around the components of the relationship with a horse, that really helped me because the understanding brought the clarity and I was able to understand exactly what the loss was...

And it's unfortunate that we have to lose something in order to get an understanding. In order to get clarity we have to lose something.

That's kind of what the covid is doing now. That's why I wanted to talk to you about this because what I am observing with COVID is that people around the world are losing what they had and they took for granted.

And that in itself, if you put thought and evaluation to it rather than judgment, it gives you clarity.

In this world of uncertainty, you can find clarity. Just as I found clarity with identifying the components of what I understand to be the relationship of a horse.

So if you want to let me know what you understand of your relationship with your horse, please feel free to put a note for me below in the comments. 


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About the Author Chris Adderson

Chris Adderson teaches riders and horses how to move with ease and grace to create astounding results and lifelong relationships of their dreams. She teaches valuable skills and educational strategies to help you re-ignite your ultimate confidence and self-belief so that your horse willingly partners with you, in lightness, and then helps you establish a step by step plan and strategy to support your growth together. This will leave you feeling confident, capable and available to step into your genius as a rider to serve your horse.

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