When in this state of being, that I'm about to describe to you, riders are not able to access these 7 keys to true connection ... and that can be devastating for their horsemanship.
It can be so very frustrating, if you are a coach or a teacher or an instructor, when you see somebody who desperately wants/needs your help, but yet they're not able to give themselves permission to actually get your help.
And maybe you've experienced this as a student, and you just can't figure out what is causing you to be defensive.
When you're really deeply connected with your student or your horse, where you want so much for them to get results, it can be frustratiing...but it's simply because they don't give themselves permission to be coachable.
I'm going to share with you some priceless moments, where I was coaching rider students. It illustrates these 7 keys of horsemanship.
Let's Dive in...
Key #1. Get To The Root Of The Problem
Here's Anne's Story:
Anne's horse was having trouble with the trimmer. She had an upcoming farrier visit and had been forewarned about how this horse had trouble with the farrier.
And the farrier had previous experiences with this horse that were not so desirable.
So there was a lot of anxiety around this trimming day.
Anne watched my YouTube video and then she applied the dwell time that I did a training on. She found the root of the problem. Then she became the guide that she needed to be to help her horse to think through the problem of the farrier.
Anne was able to find the root of the problem, support her horse, and the outcome was a positive experience for everyone.
In our Harmony For the Horse Program we guide you to find the root of the problem that you are experiencing with your horse so that you can help your horse to think through the problem.
CLICK HERE to discover more about how we can help you to reach freedom, achievement, oneness and joy that you most seek with your horse.
Key #2. Let Go Of The Emotional Charge
After she got down to the root of the problem, Anne she was able to let go of the emotional charge that was behind the situation.
She could then think through the problem for herself and provide support to her horse.
Key #3. Come up with a solution without judgement
Anne was able to come up with a solution because she could now look through a clear lens, without judgment at all towards her horse.
Key #4. Is Your Horse Able To Think Through The Problem?
When you are looking to find the root of the problem it's good to ask this question:
"Is my horse able to think through this problem?"
Sometimes we assume that our horses are totally able to do things, they're able to figure it out.
In reality, they are not.
There will be something that's stopping them from being able to figure it out.
Key #5. Be Coachable
Sarah came to me for help and support with her horse.
There was no holistic or harmonic relationship with her horse.
She wanted help and support with her riding, because she wanted to reach the highest levels of dressage and do lateral movements like piaffe and passage.
Everything was just was falling apart for her and yet here we were, in this lesson, and Sarah was blocking the ability to be coached with her horse. So she was not giving herself permission to be coached at this moment.
And I'm going to tell you exactly how we went through this because when this happens to a student, whether you're the teacher or whether you're experiencing it for yourself as a student...
...It stops the progress with your horse.
...It stops you from getting a bond with your horse.
...It stops you from getting the results that you really want with your horse.
You can't go forward until you resolve this.
It was the Sarah's lesson time.
She went out to get to the horse, and her horse was lying down. Sarah was incredibly frustrated. She was busy thinking, "It's our lesson time here, her horse was lying down, was wasting time. The horse was having a nap. She just wanted to get busy and not waste time."
She had the halter and she was walking directly up to the horse lying down.
I said, "Just wait a minute. Can we do things a little bit differently here."
And immediately, Sarah, got very defensive. And I could see in her body language, she was saying, "No, I know what I'm doing. I've done this with my horse, so many times, I know what I'm doing. I'm just gonna do what I'm doing. It works. And I'm going to do it that way."
She is not coachable, immediately the block comes up on her not being coachable, not willing and able.
What changed the situation immediately was that I was able to say to her, "remember our mindset session."
Just I could see insiders just said, "Okay, I'll give it a try, but only a little bit."
All the time she was thinking, "I'm just gonna try this and it done. I'll just go back to doing what I want to do because I know that works. I'll just go through the motions."
She still was not able to open up and be coachable.
This is what happened next... in the middle of Sarah walking up to her horse with her halter in her hand, going to make the horse get up, going to do whatever it took to make the horse get up because she was still feeling that this was wasting precious lesson time, I said "Wait a minute stop." because as she walked towards her horse, I could see your horse get tense - her head came up, the neck got tense.
I said, "Stop. Let's not go any further."
And Sarah stopped. I coached her through a few things, but she still couldn't see what was going on. And she didn't comprehend.
She couldn't see exactly what I could see from the outside. So that's where my coaching went to what she couldn't see. As we worked together, I could see Sarah get more and more receptive with each step.
But, there was still a part left, there was still a part left that I could see where she was being a robot. She was physically there, but she wasn't present. And I'm gonna just say that again.
She was physically standing there, but she wasn't yet present.
Then she turned to me, and she said, "Now what?" and scowled.
As if to say, this isn't going to work. "This is totally ridiculous. We're still wasting my precious lesson time. Now, what do you want me to do?"
Key #6. Be Present With Your Horse At All Times
I said, just think about your horse getting up. Sarah was now open enough to receive coaching to the point where she could. And so I saw her completely freeze, and I saw her change.
She started to think about her horse getting up.
She was about three feet from her horse at this time. And as she tried, as she worked on this, I could see her horse changing too.
I could see how the words that she had in her mind were getting transferred to her horse and her horse was receiving it.
And I could see how the horse was then starting to communicate back with her because I didn't tell you this, but this horse was very hard to catch. And that's why Sarah had this preconceived idea that she was going to go out, get her horse, catch your horse, and I'm going to make it happen.
But as we went through this process, and as I worked with her in a specific way, because I knew the kind of learner that she was, Sarah always wants to be busy.
She wanted to be busy again with her horse. And I said, "Wait, let's just wait. Let's see what your horse does."
And Sarah stopped. So she stopped doing what she was doing.
Sarah's horse started to prepare to get up. She shifted, she moved around a little bit.
What's going through Sarah's mind was, "this horse is extremely difficult to get caught!" "What happens if she actually does get up, then she's going to run away, because that's what she always does. I have to chase her to catch her."
Key #7. Have Clear Intention
I said, "Wait, have the intention, be present."
And she did.
And so her horse got up. And Sarah stepped closer to her horse. She gently put the halter on.
Sarah was completely silent. (This is from a rider who has actually always very busy, always very talkative, always very wanting to get things done.) She stood there and she was completely silent. She could not believe what had just happened.
She was shocked.
She was basically shocked.
I spoke with her afterwards. I asked her what was happening in that moment, when she was shocked, speechless, and frozen.
She said that she had started to feel the connection. She had started to feel the connection that she had been yearning for all these years with her horse.
And she's been around horses a long time and doing a lot of riding, a lot of things with her horse. But at that moment, that's when she started to feel the connection with her horse.
And I said, "was the connection one way? Or was it two ways?"
And she stopped for a moment, she thought about that. At first, she could only see that the connection was one way - what she was saying with the horse, but as she thought, and she contemplated that question, she could then see that the connection actually was two ways.
I helped her to see the path, I became the voice for the horse. And there was a three way dance that was happening between the coach, the rider, and the horse.
It wasn't a bunch of stuff to do, without recognizing what we were feeling, or what kind of energy is behind, or what kind of connection, or what kind of communion we were working on. It was a path for her to get to that connection. ,
Once you feel what it's like to work with your horse in this way, you're not going to want to go back.
It's not a Do It Yourself...
You need help with finding further how to get into the path. But that's where the bond gets stronger and stronger. Once you start to work with this way, everything gets deeper and deeper, the nuances start to come and be shown to you how deep it actually goes.
The nuances are inspiring and liberating us to go even deeper, and how it all just feeds back and forth that two way feedback loop between horse and rider, rider and horse.
So Sarah becomes more confident. The negative patterns fade and the horse becomes more curious, the horse becomes more confident. They're both inspired to work with each other more and more. And that's the priceless moment, when you realize there is the ability to connect in that way with your horse. And when you do, then you can reach your highest of goals even go beyond your dreams that you have with your horse. It's forever changed!
How you approach your horse is forever changed.
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