How To Be With Your Horse, Even On A Bad Day - ForTheHorse

How To Be With Your Horse, Even On A Bad Day

How to be with your horse even though you're having a bad day ... or how do we actually be present with our horses when we've had a bad day?

Or we feel kind of off, or you feel like you need a reset.

It's pretty easy to have bad days these days, isn't it?

Our horses can be a release for us.

If you want to be with your horse, but you're struggling with stuff like the pandemic, or weather stuff, whatever kind of stuff you're dealing with, then you're gonna want to listen to this because I'm going to give you some tips on how to do this.

In our Harmony For the Horse Program we guide you through these difficult times by helping you to tap into your intuition and actually be MORE present with your horse, even on a bad day!  Bad days are going to happen...our system is a proven system for riders and their horses ...

CLICK HERE to discover more about how we can help you to be more present with your horse so that you can have the freedom, achievement, oneness and joy that you most seek with your horse.

What happened to me last night, we had our hoof trimmer come, she's a great gal.  I'm helping her to learn how to trim with each visiti here.

We trimmed 6 horses and the dogs came around to pick up the pieces of hoof frog. They absolutely love frogs to eat. Our dogs got a bit too many of these trimmings last night, they were throwing up all night long.

They absolutely loved them, but they ate too many of them. And it continued actually throughout the night. It was not a good night's sleep by any stretch of the imagination.

And I woke up this morning and I said to my husband, so what's your definition of a bad day and....

he said, "cleaning up throw up all night long"!!

This is directly about what I'm talking about here. 

When you have a bad day or a bad night and you feel exhausted, you're tired, you're worn out that is actually the perfect time - I've discovered that is the perfect time for you to really tune into your intuition.

Our intuition with our horses.

When we're feeling tired, we're feeling exhausted, it's just not our day, what you need to do is clear out your vessel to clear out yourself. Find out what needs to be cleared out and to clear it out. And this is why we believe so much about the mindset work that we do in our program.

And I just got off a call like 10 minutes ago with an on our group call ended up being a total mindset call where we talked about these kinds of things and helping riders to let go of the things that are holding them back from actually being in their fullness.

Being in their fullness, being whole, being themselves and really coming down to earth with their horses, things that help you to live your vision with your horse are what we want to do.

So here's how we clear ourselves.

#1 Preventative

You want to do preventative stuff, so that you're going to prevent having that bad day in the first place.

I'm talking about self-care where you're connecting to your truth, where you're connecting to your body, and you're connecting to yourself.

Have time in your routine to connect to your mind, your emotions and your body, every day.

#2 Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling

Look at what's happening and break it down and allow yourself to feel what you're feeling.

A lot of times riders push their feelings away - they're not accepting.

Just imagine that you're planning and you're going out for a ride with your horse. As you're getting ready to ride with your horse, you're overcome by a certain feeling.

That feeling might be you have butterflies because you're scared of something potentially happening. Maybe you're feeling tired. Maybe you're feeling grumpy or you're exhausted, you push that feeling away rather than allowing yourself to feel what you're feeling, you actually push it away.

If you do that you actually give the feeling more power. If you honor the feeling and you say "Okay, right now I'm frazzled". I'm absolutely not here and now because of everything that's happened in the day.

It snowed or I didn't sleep at night or I don't have help that I need to have help with to do what I need to do and if you don't recognize those feelings and honor them, then they will actually have more power.

This is when we say to ourselves, I'm going to work with what I have for the day, I'm going to be fully what I am with my horse...

for this day, accept the way you're feeling, recognize it, you may name and label it, and then you accept that that's the way you are. 

I was talking to a student who wanted to join our program.

And she was saying to me...

"I feel so behind everyone else looks like they're farther ahead than me with their horse, I feel that nothing is working for me." She said, "I'm stuck".

When you feel stuck, you know how to move those feelings throughout your body (as we teach in or Harmony For the Horse Program), you might say, "I'm feeling depleted", or "I'm not excited about my process", or "I'm behind", I want you to know that you're not broken. 

There's nothing that's broken about you, what's happening is that you've lost contact with the joy of the process

We are sometimes conditioned to feel that there's always something wrong with us.

It's just that we've lost the joy in the process.

So, now we figure out what it is that makes us feel why we're feeling I'm feeling tired, or I'm feeling depleted, or I'm feeling like I'm not good enough. What is it that's making us feel that way, try to solve that little bit of the problem...I need to sleep, I need a snack, maybe I need a break, I need to get away, I need to go for a walk.

This is self-care.

Self-care is not optional. It's something that we need to do in order to be ourselves and to be with our horses.

I'm great at ignoring my feelings.  We are all great at ignoring our feelings until we're shown how to put it and be in touch with them. If we ignore our feelings, what does that do?

That just gives them more power, it helps them to come back over and over again.

Ask yourself, "What is it specifically, that you don't like?"

 "What is it specifically that I don't like?

In relation to that rider that I spoke to the other day...I asked her "What is it specifically that you don't like about what you're doing with your horse?" 

"What is it that is bothering you about that process?"

It was just too much to do. She was overwhelmed.  She didn't understand what she was doing. Her horse didn't like it.

On our call together, I asked her to really focus. And what she had to do was to be really discerning, use discernment.

And what I mean by that, you're going to know what you prefer, with your horse know what you're looking for, know what you want, but without judgment.

An example this rider that I spoke to, and she wanted to be able to ride her horse and not feel like she was being mean, because she felt like when she had to "be strict", in her words, she felt like she was being mean. And then she came away from her horse and she felt bad about it all day long. So she didn't want to feel that. 

#3. practice discernment

What is it that you prefer, she wants a softer way and not have the judgment. So there's no judgment around it is just what you want. And it's okay to want what you want. Because you know your horse. And at these times 

When we're having a bad day, that's when we can use our intuition to go out and be with our horses, and really hone in on what we really want and what they really want.

And this requires a lot of worthiness

It requires a lot of worth putting that much time and energy into yourself and your horse.

What do you prefer, as opposed to just doing a bunch of stuff? Are you just doing what you've been told that you should do?

You just take a course. And they tell you, you should do this. And so you just do it because you're told to do that. And it's a piecemeal solution. But it's not really getting you what you want.

Those are the typical reasons that I see with riders that are holding riders back. And it's normal for us to say, "I'm not allowed to have what I want".

This rider that I spoke to the other day, she's was telling herself that she wasn't allowed to have a softer way with her horse, or she wasn't allowed to feel good after our ride.

She was just doing what she was told she should do with that horse, even though intuitively she knew there was something different. And so she then told herself she wasn't allowed to feel what she wanted or to get what she wanted. And it's normal.

And that can be very difficult. You can't do that alone. Sometimes you need help to do that. And so if you find that it's just a tiny piece that you can change, then go ahead and change it.

And then you get what you want. But maybe it's more than just a tiny piece, maybe like this rider what she was doing, she was like a huge piece she didn't like it, she didn't give herself permission to find something else.

To review:  find out what it is that you want, and then give yourself permission to get it, when you find that you will have, it's like a tiny burning ember inside of you, a tiny glow that's inside of you will keep you willing with your horse. 

Rather than just using willpower like that rider was doing, she was just using her willpower every day to go out there and do what she said she should do.

Even though it was against what she wanted to do, she was using willpower.

But when you find that tiny little glow inside of yourself, then it's not hard work. It becomes you're willing to do it, and then your horse feels that and your horse is willing with you. So when you find that burning ember, that's when you fully commit to what you're doing. 



So now let's talk a little bit more about intuition, how if you're having a bad day, or a low day, or you just feel like you need to reset somehow, that's the time to go out with your horse and really be with your horse, right?

You don't have to do anything, you don't have to push at this point in time. Because these are the times when you're tired, when you're exhausted when you feel like you can't do anything more, that's the time when your intuition I found will really kick in. And that's when you will get magical messages coming your way.

Sometimes we get so stuck in these places, it's hard to see through to the other side, when we don't need to be that way.

We need to then do some self-care. Have self-care around our minds and our emotions. Have self care around our bodies every day. Every day I try to improve the way my body moves better. Every day, I try to improve the way my mind and my emotions function as a whole with my movement.

So that I can be better be there more for my horses, we all have baggage, but we can improve that we can get better.

And I talked about that burning ember, when you have that burning ember inside of you, when you found what works for you, and what works for your horse and you've listened to yourself, and you've given yourself permission to want what you want. That's when the wonderful divine timing happens. And we talk a lot with horses about timing, timing is the ultimate. 

But sometimes we can't find that timing, because we're not able to find the timing. But when you set up when you've done what I've talked about all these things, like on a bad day, you can work on this on a bad day with your horse, without your horse, like not even touching your horse.

And as you get prepared as you have a process of preparation, then that's when it becomes absolutely effortless. And it's tons of fun with your horse. 

So when you have attention on your mind, like we talked about attention on your body, and the same for your horse's attention on their minds, their emotions, their bodies, that's when you both meet together, that's when you meet each other in the middle.


And that's the place where you have the timing, that's when you can live with your horses playfully versus putting tons of willpower into it going out there every day with tons of effort, you may get the results you're looking for. 

You may get that payoff, you may get the perfect massage. But you know what, you'll never feel safe. Because you didn't practice how to grow into that place. You didn't practice how to grow into the place where you got to so you won't belong there. I don't know if that makes sense to you. If you don't practice it, then you won't actually grow yourself into the place that you got to and so you won't belong there so you won't feel safe there.

And then it will feel like work. You won't have that feeling of lightness and effortless. It'll feel like work because you're efforting on the surface.

It's all on the surface. There's nothing like you're putting all these pieces together and all this stuff together without knowing how to tap into actually what it feels like.

And the intuitive space of connecting. But when you put these pieces together, when you get it together, when you've got a plan process and you're prepared, that's when the connection is effortless.

And that's when you ride with the flow and it doesn't mean that it's easy, it takes effort. But it's an effortless effort. It's not effort coming from a place of the surface stuff, right? Where it's hard work, it's effortless, because you've grown into the place, and you're ready to be there. So you have the timing, you have the ability to have the timing, you will fine tune yourself, you will fine tune your horse until you both sing together.

And this is what we do in our program, Harmony For the Horse ... connecting, and trust comes first without connection and trust.

What do you have in any relationship in our life, right? Our horses teach us so much. They teach us the deepest, most essential things in life in a relationship, what do we need?


If you don't have trust, you don't have anything else, you can't have that luscious, deep divine wonderful connection that you're looking for. But it doesn't just happen, you have to put in the work. And it's not working, it's effortless. Because of how you're approaching it. It's hard to know when you're challenging yourself to make progress or just go through the motions. 

Sometimes when you're beginning out not really clear who you are, then you'll find something to do and go through the motions because it's you've been told that you should do this.

And then it becomes a bunch of "shoulds". And it's kind of like a mother raising a child, the mother knows the child the best if someone gives the mother's advice, you shouldn't be doing this with your child, or you should be doing that, you know, the mother knows intuitively if that feels right.

I don't believe in that, or I don't think that'll work for my son or I don't think that that is going to be effective, you know, intuitively, you know deep down, tap into your intuition.

Are you just going through the motions? Are you intuitive? You are probably going through the motions and not really understanding who why or how, if that makes sense for you. 

And if that resonates for you, put a note for me below. And if you'd like help with this in any way, shape, or form, there'll be a link somewhere around this video. So you can click on link, you can talk to one of us, and we will help you out.

If you're having a bad day, go through this process...

  • How to clear yourself?
  • How have preventative actions on a bad day?
  • How to do riders' self care?
  • How to break it down and look at what's happening?
  • How to accept yourself and want what you want and get what you want?.

Because you deserve to have that burning ember inside, that gives you and your horse inspiration.  Let us help you to tap into your intuition and actually be MORE present with your horse, even on a bad day!

CLICK HERE to schedule a call with us!

About the Author Chris Adderson

Chris Adderson teaches riders and horses how to move with ease and grace to create astounding results and lifelong relationships of their dreams. She teaches valuable skills and educational strategies to help you re-ignite your ultimate confidence and self-belief so that your horse willingly partners with you, in lightness, and then helps you establish a step by step plan and strategy to support your growth together. This will leave you feeling confident, capable and available to step into your genius as a rider to serve your horse.

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